Friday things (Baz Swells Happy)

September 29, 2017

Hello.

Usually my "Friday things" are about the good things throughout the past week and what great things made the week awesome. This week, however, isn't about that at all, or could it be?


I always try to lean toward the positive in life and look for things to help make bad situations easier to handle, but I am struggling today to put all of that into focus to where I can find a positive.

Yesterday we had a tough, hard, difficult-and all the words describing pained-decision. It was the hardest thing in the world to me, so far, and I say that without regret. Our beloved Baz Happy fell down the top section of our stairs yesterday morning and hit the landing area to the next set of stairs. He had slept upstairs with The Bean the night before. The kitten we adopted last December startled him at the top of the stairs, by batting his tail, he was wagging in excitement for the day. He turned suddenly from being startled and lost his footing on the top step. He didn't come rolling down the stairs, but rather fell sideways onto the first step and slid down the remaining five stairs. The first step he hit sideways on his bad hip and fractured his femur bone. We didn't know the extent of his injuries, but we were hoping for the best. Maybe a knee out of joint, or his hip bruised really bad, but nothing prepared us for what we were told.


I wasn't ready for the news we were given. I don't think any of us were, really. You go into the vet's office each time with an older dog hoping for the best, but always knowing that there could come a visit that isn't what you want to hear. Before we took him in, I put him outside in the yard to see if he could bare some pressure on the leg at all in hopes that it was just a bad sprain, or bruise that could be fixed in no time and we would be bringing him right back home that day. Baz did end up peeing and even took a small poo without baring pressure on the injured leg. I had high hopes that since he did those two things, that it would be a simple injury and I could nurse him back to health, like I have done many times before. I always took care of him and he knew it. I was his person, and he was my friend, but I couldn't fix this. I didn't even know how to try to fix it and I have gone two days now punishing myself for not being smart enough to fix him. I know it's not my fault, but part of my grieving has to be some self-blame before I can move on. When we took him into the veterinarian she looked him over and did remark about his age, 16 years and nine months, and told us that if it is broken, there is nothing we can do because surgery is not an option for him at this point. I braced myself still hoping for the best and when she came back with the x-ray it was much worse than we expected. Bone cancer. And it was aggressive. I had no idea. I went numb knowing that my sweet, loving, friend was not coming back home with us that day. The bone cancer had eaten up so much of his bad leg where the break happened and the bone was literally rotted away and cancer was destroying my pal.


I felt helpless and I still do even after the fact. When you lose a pet to something that you can't repair, or help, does the feeling ever really go away? I'm going to bet on the answer and say no. It won't ever leave me knowing that he died from something I couldn't fix. The broken femur was repairable, maybe even fixable in the long run, but the bone cancer couldn't be repaired. And it gutted me knowing this.

Baz never let on that he was in pain. He never showed signs of failure. Even with his old hip injury from a car hitting him 14 years ago, he never let on that he was dying on the inside from cancer. He had a heart murmur, and hip dysplasia, and we saw where he was slowing down, but never anything more than what we were told to expect with older dogs. I felt like I had failed him. He was there for me through a lot of things and I personally felt like I failed him. We knew the decision to put him to sleep was already decided for us before we even said "okay." The moment of doing it is something that I will never accept completely. I feel like I let him down. The image I had of him when this moment came, the moment he would leave us, wasn't anything like what happened. I imagined being at home with him, cuddled up, being there with him, while he made the decision to go on his terms. I had the image of that so embedded in my head that this moment didn't seem real. I couldn't believe that it was happening. But it did. And now he is gone. He left us the same way he came, unexpected, but so full of love. He had such dignity and love as he passed and he has torn my heart out in the process.


Each member of our family, all three of us, had a different relationship with Baz. I was here with him, day in and day out. I wiped his eyes out when they were matted or watered, I cleaned him up after he peed on himself, I gave him his baths, I massaged his hips and spine area, I rubbed shea butter on his rough paws when they needed it, I put sunblock on his ears so he wouldn't burn, I trimmed his fur when it was matted, I brushed his teeth, I cuddled with him when he was cold, I washed his Mickey Mouse blanket when it was soiled, I put his Razorback sweater on him when he was cold, and put on his rain coat when it was raining. And the best part of it all, he loved me for loving him.

We can't help but remember some of the fun, crazy, and amazing things Baz gave us. Him standing at Cape Kiwanda in the sand with his sweater on, showing us his big smile on his face that he always had just being with us on our many road trips, the move from Arkansas to Oregon, and the many other things, places, and adventures we went on with him in tow. He loved being with us. Road trips we've taken with him and how he would look at us with a look to just say, "thank you for bringing me." I won't be able to forget those times with him anytime soon and my grieving process will last a long time for him. As he aged, his hip began to bother him more and more, and before long he became a special needs dog. I was okay with it, as long as I could prolong his pain and life just a bit longer. And I did my best. I made him happy. A huge chunk of my time was for him. Now, I don't know how to change to the new normal. I hope eventually the ache in my heart and mind is less, but right now, it's almost as if there's that missing piece in my life that I can't find. His bed, dinner plate, sweater, Mickey Mouse blanket, rain coat, collar, bandanna, leash, dog house-with his name on it, all of his many dog tags we've made him, his folder with all of his medical records, and his pillow will sit on the dresser for now. I will put them away, or shift them to PITA before too long, but for right now, I like having them there to remind me that his presence is still here in some way.


It is only the day after, and as expected we are all grieving so much pain. It's incredible how much hurt we can actually handle in life. To you, the reader, this dog is just that, a dog. To us, he was a member of our family that's been with us for 15 years. He was there the day we brought The Bean home from the hospital. He was the first animal to see The Bean as a newborn. Those moments will live on in my memory forever. He was The Bean's buddy and watched him walk, talk, grow, and learn about life. Baz was there. He has always been there. He was more than "just a dog" to us. He was our pet, our companion, our loving Baz, and above all, he was our friend. He will be missed, wanted, needed, yearned for, and most of all loved forever by us and anyone else that had the pleasure and luck of meeting the infamous, free-spirited dog named, Baz Swells Happy.


When people who have never had a dog see dog owners mourn the loss of a pet, they probably think it is a bit of an overreaction. After all, it is “just a dog.” Fortunately, most are too polite to say this out loud. But those of us who have loved a dog know the truth: Your own pet is never "just a dog." -source

I'd love for you to see all of the great things we shared with Baz. There's a lot of posts on my blog about him and they are right here. If there is one thing you take away from this blog post it would be for me to tell the you, and the rest of the world, what a great, loving, wonderful, cool, loyal, perfect, friend of a dog he truly was. He was. He most certainly was.

We'll see you later, old buddy.
Thank you for loving us.
-Life at a "Swell's" pace-
Baz Swells Happy (November 12, 2000 - September 28, 2017)

Friday things

September 22, 2017

Hello.

Hope your week shaped up pretty nice. We didn't have a too excited week and quite frankly, it was pretty dull. The Mr. ended up staying home today because he has been stretched pretty thin with his time lately. He enjoyed a day to sleep in and actually not have anything scheduled to do today. Once we got around for the day we headed over to Corvallis to do a bit of shopping and we ended up riding the CTS (Corvallis Transit System) bus. We started at the bus station near the college and rode the transit system to the food co-op, did some shopping, and hopped back on back to the bus station. It was a nice change and we all three enjoyed the ride around town. Those buses get pretty packed with college kids on a Friday night though and boy did we get a good show of the college life. So other than that, here are the things that made this week great.

1. This sunflower

Because holy cow, the head on this thing. Can't wait to harvest seeds this weekend.

2. The Mr. 

He turned 45 last Saturday and he looks great! (I baked his cake and he loved it!)

3. These boxes

Yogi Surprise Lifestyle Box-well, it had an issue, so I am currently waiting on a replacement box. Once that box comes in I will repost it on another "Friday things" post. So stay tuned. 

Yogi Surprise Jewelry Box

Dropps Laundry Detergent. 

Influenster Welch's VoxBox for Grandparent's Day. 

4. This hike

We took a great hike up through Fitton Green in Corvallis, Oregon. It was the perfect day and the weather was wonderful. We did the lower hike and are already planning to hike the upper section again soon. More on this later.


5. First day of fall

Today marks the first day of fall. I am already looking forward to winter weather here and can't wait to see the changing leaves on the trees here in the Valley.

Have a great weekend!

Friday things

September 15, 2017

Hello.

I skipped out on posting the "Friday things" last Friday due to the fact that our older dog, Baz, wasn't feeling well and had to make an emergency trip to the veterinarian. He's doing much better now, but has been having a rough two weeks. He is going on 17-years-old and has his good days and his bad days, but we are taking the best care of him as a senior dog. The veterinarian put him on a few pills, one being a steroid, so we have high hopes that they will help him along. He is loved a lot and he knows it too. We hope he sticks with us another year or so and gets back to his good self before too long.

We've had quite a two weeks here, especially here in the Valley. The wildfires burning here are overwhelming and have really wrecked havoc on the air quality here. Although, they have gotten a few of them within some sort of control, it still hasn't made for the best atmosphere here. We think a few of these smoke clouds have added to Baz's health, and the little bit of rain we've gotten here and there has helped. We did get a bit of a breeze through a few days in a row and that has helped, but we hope they clear out all the way soon. Here are the things that are worth mentioning this week.

1. Smoke (picture heavy)

The smoke within the Valley has been pretty heavy lately. Of course, as I type this out for the "Friday things" the smoke has cleared out a bit, but still a little hangs in the air here and there. The Mr. and I grabbed us some to-go oxygen boost cans and have been desperately trying to water our dry grass as much as we can. We are on city water here where we live and keeping things wet and green gets expensive, so we run the water an hour a day in certain areas just to keep things from becoming too dry.


When the fires were going strong around the Valley, with about 12 burning throughout the state during this time, the smoke and ash was was really bad.

Eagle Creek Fire in the Columbia River Gorge. (source)

These images are from the Eagle Creek Fire in the Columbia River Gorge. This fire was completely preventable because it started with fireworks. Unfortunately, they are still burning and have been burning since the first of September.

The Eagle Creek Fire is one that we've been following here in our house because of the threat to Multnomah Falls and the Bonneville Dam area. 


View of the fire reaching the Multnomah Falls Lodge. (source)


The evacuations continued throughout the night of the fire moving through the Gorge area. It was really surreal seeing all of these evacuation reports coming across on Twitter and some of these people are still displaced as of right now. It's heartbreaking to know that this area will take some time to recover, but it's even more heartbreaking to know these people's lives were turned upside down over kids playing with fireworks. Wildfires can take off quicker than people even realize and this fire is proof of that. Not only were the people in this area displaced, there was issues here and there with removing people's livestock and animals. The Multnomah County Sheriff's Office did a great job with posting information and other ways to help people be prepared with removing animals out of harms way. 

This information they posted is a great resource if you are a pet or livestock owner.  Heed their advice and always be prepared.


The ash levels in different area around the Valley were intense. 



Without taking away from the Eagle Creek Fire, but the Milli Fire is another one. This fire is located about 10 miles outside of Sisters, Oregon. The Mr., The Bean, and I got a first-hand look at this fire when we took a road trip over the Cascades recently.

It is terribly sad seeing something like this in person. It breaks my heart to see such beautiful areas of Oregon going up in flames this summer. I'm a tree-hugger and love nature so much, so seeing something like this is emotionally overwhelming. The Millie Fire was started because of lightning, so nature does have a hand in a lot of these fires on the west coast, but the Eagle Creek Fire and other fires created by man can and are avoidable. We continue to take advantage of Mother Earth and her environment and in turn, she fights back. 






The Mr. spotted this twin rotor Chinook Helicopter sitting at the highway department maintenance yard at Santiam Junction near the base of the Cascade Mountains. It's one of the large pieces of fire fighting gear that they have been putting toward the fires around the area. We really do appreciate every fire fighter, especially ones that have traveled across state lines, that have been working these fires around Oregon.

2. Road trip (Christmas Valley)

We loaded up this past week and headed over to an area called Christmas Valley to get out some land options. We were a bit disappointed with the land in the town, but the road trip was a success. We checked out an area called Fort Rock and also took in the areas great history. Christmas Valley is definitely a place for someone that likes the great outback and complete privacy. The Mr. noted that the stargazing in the area, if we bought land there, would be amazing! We have been weighing the pros and cons of the land options there and we just don't think it's exactly what we are looking for right now.

The drive took us along the National Scenic Byway of Oregon's Outback. We only saw chipmunks running around, but it was fun looking for other animals in the area and seeing how different the area is to the Valley.

The smoke from the Millie Fire was pretty thick on our drive and having the air conditioning on we could smell the smoke coming through the vents. The sun was glowing reddish/pink too. So heartbreaking to know that just beyond the trees there's a fire tearing up the landscape of the forest.








3. This reminder

This little bag was spotted at our local food co-op and I just love the message on it. It's a great reminder for when you are feeling down and out. I didn't buy it, but maybe just posting a picture of it here will help you, or someone else, remember that they are perfect, just the way they are. ♥

4. Our brew

Yes, that's right, we are dipping into the microbrew field. This is the bottles from our wheat ale. It's in the small production phase right now, so more on this later. 


5. End of summer

Gotta love the end of summer here in the Valley-dry grass, changing trees, and yellow jackets. Honestly, we are looking forward to some fall weather and hopefully, we will see some snowfall soon. We love the snow in this house, so bring it on!

Have a great weekend!
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